From Self-Help to Self-Healing: How I Found True Transformation

Hi Girlie,

I’m on a mission to help girlies live life as their healed selves and I hope you can be one of them. If you've already read more self-help books than you can count but are still feeling very much unhealed, take it from me and ditch the books for a while.

I myself have read so many self-help books but for the longest time the knowledge I had gained was just not transferring into my physical life. It was so discouraging and I thought I was doomed to carry my trauma and pain with me forever. I thought I was never going to be able to feel safe in relationships and that conflict would continue to follow me.

Everything changed when I stopped studying my trauma and pain. I studied my needs and wants instead. I studied what love was for me so that I was ready to appreciate it and recognize it. I studied the activities that brought me joy and I did them. I stopped thinking about forever and focused on the moment and the situations right in front of me. I started to see every moment as a HUGE opportunity to add healing to my life.

In switching from self-help to self healing I learned that:

Healing is not a feeling but rather an action!

It’s IN the journey rather than a destination.

I learned that:

If I say no to things you don’t want, I heal.

If I do the things I want to do or say I will do, I heal.

If I tell someone they hurt me, even if it risks losing them, I heal.

If I stop people from gossiping to me, I heal.

Every time I don’t take something personally, I heal.

Every time I hold a boundary, even if it upsets someone or puts me at risk of losing them, I heal.

Basically, I started living for ME. Still gentle and compassionate towards others but being able to live a healed life is personal to me. It’s my only priority in each opportunity I have to be my healed self no matter who is disappointed by this.

Healing isn’t an apology or acknowledgment of wrong doing, it’s not even a promise of behaviour not being repeated. Healing is taking control over your choices and actions in each moment.

Your reaction to life is your opportunity.

Be willing to lose anything for your healing. It’s your life. Your time is limited.

I have so much more to share, so follow for more and please give me feedback in the comments and let me know whether this is helpful or ask questions about anything!

Love, your Healed Bestie 💋

HOW TO HEAL: End Your Journey to Find Healing and Start Experiencing Healing Today

Hi Healed Girlies,

This world benefits from you being unhealed. So you can buy all the books, and spend your money recklessly trying to find healing outside yourself. I want to save you from that.

Your healing journey is about to end because I’m going to show you how you can have healing right now. The honest truth is that healing isn’t something to find, it’s an experience to be had. Being on a healing ‘journey’ is basically saying, ‘I’m not healed, i am suffering and I’m going somewhere, where healing is but I don't know where. I just opening any door and hoping it leads me there’. I’m here to tell you that looking for healing in tomorrow keeps you stuck in the pursuit of it rather than in the midst of it. So girlie, I want you to ditch the healing journey and become a healed girlie instead.

Forget every single thing you’ve learned about finding healing for a second and follow me as I explain how to become a healed girlie without waiting for healing on an unknown date in the future.

I myself was stuck on the journey of finding healing for many years. I've always know that healing is possible and have believed that many others have found it or having just always been in closer proximity to healing than I. What I didn't always know is how to BE healed. I consumed as much knowledge on healing as I possibly could and even though I learned a lot in my mind, very little of what I knew transferred to my experiences in life. This made healing feel even further away from me. I've always imagined that Healing is a place where maintaining relationships is effortless. That once I was finally healed I would be able to to stay on top of my dreams and achieve goals goals without having so many blocks. While this is true, I realized that being healed was always something I pictured happening for me sometime in the future. Then I figured out a way to tap into my healed life and realized healing is only possible in the present.

As I said before, forget everything you’ve heard and just focus on what I’m about to say.

Do you know where healing is? Chances are you don't even know where to start. What has worked for me is starting at the finish line. Finding out exactly where the destination "HEALED" is for me so that I can get the directions.

What does each part of your life look like as a healed girlie? Once you know what your healed girlie life looks like, start making decisions and choices that take you to your destination. Healing is not in tomorrow and won’t happen whenever things shape up for you. Healing is today. Healing is right now.

Trust me. If you know where you are going, you will have less fears about deciding what to do or how to respond to your current life. If you know where you are going you will recognize the turn you need to make at every moment and even when you realize you made the wrong turn, you will simply get back on course.

As an unhealed girlie, you know where to go for pain, heartbreak, and trauma. It’s what you've always known and it actually comes easy to you. I want to give you some practical tips on how to change your program in real time.

If you knew a specific movie you wanted to watch was playing on a specific channel, would you just turn the TV on and hope your movie starts playing on that channel even though you know the programing on that channel doesn't have your movie scheduled? No, you would simply take the remote and go to the channel playing your movie. If you accidently changed the channel in the middle of the movie, would you just forfeit your movie and watch whatever program in on now or would you just change the channel back to your movie? You would change it back right away. That's how I want you to start living your life. As soon as you realize you don't like the program or the program doesn't match your vision of a healed life, change the channel IMMEDIATELY.

Channels of Your Life:

• Thoughts you have - Spend your day thinking about people you love and people that love you instead of narcissists and others who have harmed you. CHANGE THE CHANNEL

• Things you talk about - If's important to have support and talk to people even about the things you are struggling with but keep it at a minimum. Journaling, God, your mom, or best friend. Talk about it for 5-10 minutes and then change the channel. Stop updating all your friends on the horrible feelings and things that are happening in your life. Instead, talk about things that make you happy, things you enjoy doing, places you want to visit. It’s important that you are genuine about this and not just talking about positive things that aren’t actually what you want. Amazing things are always simultaneously happening in your life with the bad. So hone in on these amazing things no matter how little they may seem. Every single time someone is kind to you, tell as many people as you can. This goes for when others bring their life's issues to you too. Support them, be there for them but at some point change the channel or politely express how much you care about them and ask if there anything they would like to do that would bring them joy instead. CHANGE THE CHANNEL

• Things you consume - Stay away from content about betrayal, abuse, trauma, etc. Swipe away from it immediately. You don't need to indulge in content that your unhealed self relates to. This keeps you stuck in the unhealed loop. Instead, swipe away and focus on content that talks about forgiveness, recipe ideas, happy relationships, romantic movies, comedies, coming of age novels, literally anything that showcases people in healing or experiencing a healed life. At first it might feel odd because you may not be able to relate to this content and it’s possible you might feel awful if you compare your life to this. So let me add actions.

• Things you do - If you want to be a healed girlie, you will take care of your self. Start from the basics and build up from there. Prioritize taking care of yourself about all things. That means cleaning your space, being presentable and moving your body. Saying yes to things you REALLY want and saying no to things you don't want at all. People will get over it. Following up on not talking to anyone and everyone about anything, don't take advise from people who don't know where you are going. It's like asking a stranger which way you should go without disclosing your destination. In healing, unless the person has been to location ‘Healed’ they can't help you get there. Healed girlies don't take advise from their unhealed besties. (Example: I've noticed that the majority of women online teaching others about narcissists, don't have successful relationships. so in essence, they are teaching you how to find narcissists, how to get away from them and stay away. I say these people need to change the channel to what they want instead. Like someone teaching people about finding love, creating boundaries and maintaining relationships.)
  

As I said before, healing isn’t in tomorrow and it’s certainly not a journey. Healing is available to you today in every single moment of your life, every decision you make, and all the content you absorb. Healing is in people you confide/let influence you. Most important, healing is in how you respond to life.

With that being said, it’s CRUCIAL … like EXTREMELY important to be discerning about what and who you let influence you. Study what being healed is instead of studying your trauma. Study what can bring you happiness is instead of trying to understand why your are depression. Focus on adding to you life rather than taking away.

I love you bestie! I just want you to start feeling better and seeing that your life can change today.

If this article was helpful to you or if you have any comments, please feel free to comment or message in the chat after you subscribe. This is a new platform and I'm just getting started. I don't gatekeep and I want to helped as many girlies as I can to become healed and experience life outside of fight or flight. Follow on IG @Healedgirlies.Co and subscribe to this blog so you get notified every time I post.

Love, Your Healed Bestie 🩷✨

Unlocking Your Potential: How to Claim Your Healed Status

Hi Girlie,

I know it’s popular to say "I'm on my healing journey" and it feels good to think about going somewhere better than where you are or where you’ve been but hear me out. If healing is a journey, that means healing is always somewhere where you are not.

Bestie, I want to confront you with this truth: Healing is available to you today and in every moment you encounter. I urge you to tap into it and vow to show up as your healed self every day from this day on. Claim your healing for that the little girl in you that’s been hurt in the past. She has grown up to be a beautiful woman with wisdom and favour. She is healed. You are healed.

Your past is no longer happening to you. You are a warrior, a triumphant survivor. All the things that once threatened you didn’t stand a chance then and they certainly don’t stand a chance now.

I know being broken is familiar to you and holding on to brokenness as being part of your identity makes life a bit more predictable and comfortable but I promise you so does believing whole heartedly in your healing.

If you can believe you are healed and show up as your healed self today, you will start to believe that you can do that tomorrow too.

I believe you are capable of living in the confidence of knowing you can handle life in this moment and that believe is what will take care of tomorrow.

If healing is in your future, it will always be just around the corner from you. Do you get it bestie? I'm saying that healing is here right now.

Feeling like your fear and pain are urgent is a big fat lie. Forgiveness is urgent, happiness is urgent, love is urgent, healing is urgent and needs to be claimed now... not later.

I know it might sounds a little happy go lucky, fluffy and sweet but it’s true. Looking for healing in tomorrow keeps you in the pursuit of it rather than in the midst of it.

Don’t wait for tomorrow. Claim it now and unlock your potential.

Sincerely,

Your Healed Bestie